Finnish my heart

version 2
Finnish, my heart

The knowing is often harder than the experience of loss
No more occasional encounters
No more accidental smiles
And running to your house just to see the tram go bye
You listening to my boozy stories
As we talk our journey home
That Saturday was goodbye
And we never said hello

In the city of cultures
Our differences created our polar pull
And the possibility of nurturing a relationship
Changed like melbourne’s weather
It was unpredictable,
or at least I was,
four seasons in a day

My feelings rarely passed my lips
But my emotions
flooded my head and escaped
through my hands and eyes
But trying to read you, left me puzzled
And often thinking you were somewhere
Between cold and the bizarre

I could have held you
And felt your heart in my hand
Understood your expressions
And explored without guided translations
But with barred entry, I was left
Banging at the gates

A hundred footsteps apart
Our beds lie
Empty and alone
I yearned for you to take that leap
And keep me warm during those cold nights

You arms could have been my security
You lips, my comfort food
But the past seven months were memorable
And, forgettable

Now as it’s over
I keep you near the beating of my heart
As a guest you may stay
But with the armed distance you maintain
You never let yourself
Get closer than
The outside of my heart.


version 1
Finnish my heart
The knowing is often harder than the experience of loss
No more occasional encounters
No more accidental smiles
And running to your house just to see the tram go bye
You listening to my boozy stories
As we talk our journey home
That Saturday was goodbye
And we never said hello

In the city of cultures
Our differences created our distant-togetherness
And the possibility of nurturing a relationship
Changed like melbourne’s weather
It was unpredictable,
or at least I was,
four seasons in a day

My feeling rarely passed my lips
But my emotions
flooded my hands and eyes
But trying to read yours, left me puzzled
And often thinking you somewhere
Between cold and bizarre

I wish I could have held you
And feel your heart in my hand
Understood your expressions
And explore without guided translations

Our beds could have been one
Instead of empty and a hundred footsteps apart
I wish my lost swimsuit
Was a metaphor for the magic of that trip
When we were never a day apart

You arms could have been my security
You lips, my comfort food
The past seven months were memorable
Unfortunately, forgettable

Now as its over
I keep you near the beating of my heart
As a guest you may stay
But with the armed distance you maintain
You may never let yourself
Get closer than
The outside of my heart.